Scarred
by missingthepoint
Summary: first hueyjaz fic. even with tragedy there is some glimmer of hope. after a tragic event, its Huey who has to take care of Jaz and not the other way around. HueyJazmine.
1. Tragedy

**my first official huey/jazmine fic. mainly the italics are jazmine's pov. so if you wish for me to continue then you have to review. and if you are reading this thank you. huey is mentioned but isn't seen, i accept any type of suggestions, so please...advise me. **_

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_What happens when you die?_

_No seriously, what happens? Does your body burn when you die? Does it cry for solitude and peace? Does it bleed continuously as your soul pleads to remain in this world, what happens when you die? When I died, I think, I didn't scream...I did cry, and I did beg._

_I begged him to stop._

_I cried._

_I did not scream._

_The pain in my body was too much to handle, and really I did want him to kill me. Like he did the rest. Has anyone ever felt the pain that I have felt. The only people I can think of are the soldiers, innocent women, prisoners of war. We talked about war a lot in History. How many people were tortured, rape, and other terrible things I wish not to think about at the time._

_I pray for death right now. It seems so helpful._

_This pain, it hurts so much. I can't handle it, I'm not strong. Just please, let me go...I just want to go. No more. No more. Please no more._

_No more pain please._

They arrived to a busy street. A frantic hospital trying to hold down the fort. How many parents were crowded, trying to get in. They locked hands, fearing for their own safety if they attempted to make their way through.

Many of their friends were there. Many of them. Friends that they had known for the past eight years, since they had moved to their supposedly peaceful town. Nurses tried their best to calm down the large crowd, gesturing as many people as they possible could.

Tom stared down at his wife, "We need to get in there, but how"?

"I guess we have to do what they're doing, I'm sure they have loved ones in there also".

He breathed in deeply, refusing tears to come. He had to be strong for once. He couldn't be the wussy, the weakling who cried when nothing went his way. His wife needed him, his daughter needed him, their family.

Family.

The crowd was finally dispatching, people now smoothly moving in the open glass doors of the largest hospital in Woodcrest. Locking their hands together, refusing to let go, Tom and Sarah walked in together. Praying for the best.

_Life._

_I guess I have lived a happy life indeed. I great life. Some lives could be shorter. But I never imagined for it to end this way. Not once. A friend of mine, a word that he does not use kindly, told me to expect the expecting. See life for what it truly is, and do not lie to myself in the process. I shouldn't block out my true feelings, numb myself to the point to only believing the man._

_I would often question his motives._

"_Huey you always see the bad in the world, what about the good"?_

"_If you haven't noticed Jazmine," his cold eyes scanning me, "there is hardly any good"._

_I always knew he was right. He was always right, never wrong. The day I met him, was the most...peculiar meeting of my life. Cold and mean, I was intrigued by the way he talked , the way he acted. Everything. How could I not be fascinated by the way he acted. He treated me indifferently, as if he didn't like me one bit._

_But I know he does._

_His friend Caesar said so, and that gave me hope. Caesar. So kind, so gentle, has similar views with Huey, but with a lighter tone. He never once made me feel out of place, encouraging me to never stop seeing the good. A bright smile on his face, friendly even to his enemies. _

_I wonder...where are they._

_He told me that he had friends too, that they were all around the school. I wasn't the only one, there were many of us. Huddled in different directions in the classroom, our teacher's corpse right in front of his desk. _

"_Play with me girls, entertain me"._

_Despite myself trying to stray upon that path, I now believe Huey's words. There is no good in the world. But there is Caesar. He's good, and now I wish I was with them. If they aren't here, I want to go where they are. Away from the pain._

The hospital was packed. Nurses scurrying from one direction to the next, not knowing what to do. Doctors who were off for the day were now professionally entering the hospital, preparing themselves for whatever tasks that had to do. Sarah and Tom found two seats in the lobby. They sat down quietly.

Fortunately, they weren't the only ones there. Three of their friends were there, one couple, Julie and Henry walking to them.

"It seems, we're not the only ones," Julie's voice frail.

"I saw it on the television," Sarah said, "and at first...I couldn't believe it".

Henry patted Tom's back, "Yeah, I was at the job when it just popped on televisions, and the phone rang".

"My boys," a rough voice intruded into their conversation, "they'll be alright".

The four parents turned to the voice. Sarah and Tom felt worse than they did before. Had Robert Jebediah Freeman ever look so pitiful. His words were prideful, the way they came out were not. In all his years he had never looked his age. Now he did, he did.

"They get shot at all the time," his voice never wavering, "I know that they'll get out".

His boys. All he had. The thought of losing them never crossed his mind, not once. He treated them with distaste, that was true. He wouldn't dare lie about it, how many times had he cussed them out when they were younger-approximately over two million times.

The thought of losing them never crossed his mind.

He leaned his back on the pale green wall. His chest going up and down. The thought was racing through his mind. What if he did lose them? How would he live? Believe it or not, those boys were all he had left. His wife, Linda, his daughter Janet. How he loved them. A promise he made to both of them.

"Daddy, I need you take care of my boys, please Daddy".

"Sweetie, I know you can do well, you'll take good care of my babies".

A promise that could never be fulfilled. He was sure whenever he died, and that both of them had gotten good jobs and had a good future, he had done his job. Hearing the phone call, going to the school, seeing their bodies being put on stretchers.

If he ever made it to heaven, what would he say to them?

It would be impossible to forgive himself.

The world around him spun crazily. If their lives were over, then he would go down with them.

_I've been asking many questions now, haven't I? I'm sorry, I just want to know. Where am I? Am I dead or am I alive. If I am alive, please pull the plug, I feel too weak and too agonized to keep on going._

_But if I do go, I want to know where are my friends. And if they are here, maybe I can live a little longer. Sadly, I doubt that. You may call me pessimistic, but the ordeal that I have been through-its too much._

_I want my family and friends to know that I love them and thank you._

"I want to see my Jon," Julie hissed, "I want to see him".

She held a paper cup filled with coffee, it shaking uncontrollably.

"Julie," Sarah said kindly, "we all need to relax, no matter how much we want to see them".

_I wish only to be free. Free from the world and the pain, please._

_I am falling. I feel myself drowing in this giant pool of my own tears. I get going deeper and deeper. And soon the bright light that was above me seems to fade away. I fall deeper and deeper. And soon this life that I have lived will be over.

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_**its dark isn't it? well its gonna be darker, and it is a tragedy. so expect the pain. but i can't reveal all my thoughts can i. this is suppose to be an one-shot, but if you guys review then i will happily go to the second chapter. and once again if you are reading this, then thanks.**


	2. Hero

**Commentary: Thank you all. I really didn't think that anyone would like it. And DarkPhoenixSaga-thanks. I wasn't thinking about the mom and the last name thing. I would have never noticed without you.**

**Origin: Taking hot baths help lol. I was all clean and watching television, don't remember what I was watchin tho. Most people like HueyxJaz, and I was liking it to-one way or another. Accepting it would be blunt. I wanted to try mine out, but how? I didn't want to do a comedy, I'm not that good at those. I like tragedies, to see more things than a comedy. A romance/comedy with JazxHuey would be nice so here I am. **

**Last thing: I hope you guys can tell which pov I'm using. Riley, Jazmine. If not just tell me and I'll be more direct. Once again thanks for the support.**

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Heroes._

_To be a hero, what's its like._

_All my life, as long as I can remember, I always wanted to live the life of a thug. But now, I don't see it. Is it because of today? Today. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up ya know. When people grow up, they do get different ideas about their future. And after today, I've really gotten a good look at what my future would be like if I continued on the path of thuggin._

_Black._

_Not my skin color, no the color black. Nothingness. I wouldn't have anything. Money, women, is that all I get in the end. An infamous reputation, is that all? People would hate me and try kill me on a daily basis, while others would respect me and admire me for the wrong reasons? Damn, what was I thinking, trying to be hero._

_Hope that kid is alright though._

"Come on Tom," he told himself, "you gotta be strong".

Has there ever been a time that he had been so frightened? He was in the case of his life when he got the phone call. The balife was at his post, but suddenly left. Uneasiness settled in, did something happened, was there some sort of evidence to prove his client guilty? The trial was on pause for a couple of moments until he returned.

A tall African-American man, who had heard many tragic tales in his life returned to the courtroom with a mournful expression.

Walking to the judge's stand, the older man lowered his head to balif's mouth. A professional face turned into pure shock, unreadable to the jury and the audience. Tom's heart dropped, he did lose the case, he lost it big. He was a district attorney, it was his job to put away bad people. His client wasn't a bad person, but he was no saint.

There was evidence that could cost him his case and career.

However, that was not the case. Judge Ford was a man of great respect. He lived most of his life as an a district attorney, being righteous in cases. He prosecuted many evil people, serial killers, rapists, thieves. He possessed the strong belief that every crime should not go unpunished. For twenty years, he had served his term as a judge. He personally kept a high view on both sides, ensuring that prosecutor was being truthful as well as the defendant.

The words that was told to him...assault...fire...Dubois' daughter.

Staring at the judge's unchanging expression, Tom's fears were beginning to level. After the balif told him what had needed to be said, Judge Ford looked directly at Tom.

_My daughter is 23 now, at Princeton. I'm so proud of her, she's grown up to be fine woman. When your children have done so good in their lives, it tells me that I did my job as a father. This man, his child, his only daughter 16. I don't want to even imagine the terror._

Tom was in shock and confusion when the judge called him to the stand. Judge Ford. He has always been known for his deep, gruff voice for a white man. But he was not the one to choose between race, he accepted all people, a good Christian. When Tom went to the stand, the judge's voice was uncharacteristically soft and warm.

His voice barely above a whisper, no one could hear his words, "There was a call, there has been a dire incident at your daughter's school, your wife is waiting for you outside-go now, we will resume this at later time".

His voice, stern and soft. Worry attacked his heart, he left the courtroom in silence. The audience, the jury standing up in confusion as the prosecutor left the room. Even his client did not understand.

"The trial will be resumed on further notice," the judge's voice returning to its normal state.

Here he was. Getting a snack out of the machine, his stomach growling loudly. Tired. So tired he was, he should have eaten. At the time not even food could help him, so many people, so many deaths. They had yet to see Jazmine, and Robert was still unable to see his grandsons. A doctor did come to them and did say that he had to handle other wounded students, and the he would try the best he could to get to them.

"What"!? Sarah stood to full height, "What about our children, what about them"!?

"Please ma'am," he tried to calm her, "there are so many others that we must to attend to".

"I am aware of that," Sarah snapped back, "but what about the others, you're just going to leave them"!?

The doctor appeared to be nearly drained of the energy in him. "I know this is difficult for you, but I have already given your daughter some drugs to ease the pain, she is now in the company of two nurses".

Sarah's flaming eyes softened, "Is she awake, can we see her"?

He shook her head, "Not at the time, its too crowded".

"What about Huey and Riley Freeman," Robert quickly asked, "any information about them"?

"I apologize, they are not in my department, and do not know where they are".

The old man, who had suddenly gotten out of his seat, sat solemnly into this chair again. Lowering his head, using his hands to pray for his grandsons.

_I hear footsteps._

_Meaning I'm not dead. If I can hear, then I know that I'm not dead._

_Its easier for me to breathe now. I'm still in this deep sleep state, I would like to get up now. Hello? Can anyone hear me? Guess not, not surprised. No one ever hears me, never. When they do hear me I'm usually complaining or ranting about something I have no business. Today began like that, me and my brother fighting over the last glass of orange juice._

_We love our Vitamin C._

_Huey brought me to school today, for once. Because I had missed the bus he felt "generous". We didn't talk throughout the ride, and that's the way we like it. Ya know? We respect the silence between us, and at the same time we understand each other more. You can think whatever you like, that's how we are._

_Its always been that way._

_When we arrived we didn't say anything to each other, just went our separate ways. Now, I wished we did say something. There have been many questions that I had always wanted to ask him, my big brother. Many things that I wanted to tell him. I don't even know where he is, and right now...this very moment the only person I want to see is him._

_My big brother._

_He could possibly be dead along with the others, I don't want to think like that, it is a possibility. I'm thinking about Granddad too. He is my grandfather, the only one I have. I should be better to him. We both should be better to him. Taking us in when we lost our parents, it must have been hard. Especially when Grandma died. I don't even remember her face._

_Its like that with our mom too._

_Huey only gave me discreet descriptions of our mother. "Quiet, sweet, loved to read". The only memory of her was her scent. Weird I know, I ain't lying. She smelled of almonds, yeah nice almonds. I love almonds, especially chocolate almonds. Huey told me only once that she enjoyed eating them as well, and it was no surprise that I remember almonds._

_Father. Huey, he never speaks about him. Granddad called him a hard working man, who provided for his family the best he could. He also informed me because of his job it kept him from home a lot, I think Huey blames him for most of our "family" problems._

_Whateva nigga. I envy him. He actually remember what they look like. What they look like! All I can recall is almonds, and Granddad has no pictures. If he does, he never showed them to me or Huey._

_The pain is subsiding now, I won't be seeing my Momma and Dad anytime soon._

Handing Sarah the candy bar she requested he sat by his wife with a sorrowful look. Two hours had passed since arriving at the hospital, five hours since each of them had gotten the news. Throughout those two hours only unhappiness remained. Desperation to be with their child. Robert's old age had forced him into a restless sleep, calling out the names of his boys.

The crowds had narrowed down much, leaving only a handful of people awaiting for news. Sadly, it was not all good news. While waiting for more information on Jazmine and the boys, all three of them got more than expected.

Julie and Harry was informed of the death of their youngest son Jon, one hour ago. Sarah couldn't even go near her lifelong friend, her body wretched with grief. Julie fell to the ground, tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks. Her husband had to carry her out of the hospital, their youngest son.

_My baby. My baby boy, no let me go! He has to see his mother, he has to see me!!_

She pushed her husband away and ran madly to where her son's dead body was. Other workers at the hospital had to drag her away from the door. To her dread, she was able to catch only a glimpse of his body. Over seven bullets went through him, the largest wound at his chest.

For a moment...her heart stopped beating.

Harry grabbed onto his wife's limp body, her eyes glassy with tears. Swinging her up bridal style, carrying her off into the dark night.

Sarah, Tom, and Robert wish not to be those three.

_My head hurts._

_Hurts a lot less than it did before, but it still hurts. The dude just came in with a loaded freakin shotgun, and poured it out like nothin. Man, I've seen movies, read book, it didn't prepare me for the real thing. They say media can't replace the real thing, and dammit they were right._

_I'm breathing._

_I'm living._

_And once I get the hell out of here, I'm gonna eat me some burgers._

"About time," Sarah exhaled, "can we see her now"?

"Yes, but she is not in good condition, her injuries were nearly fatal".

Right fatal. How many times had they heard that in past hours? How many parents they had seen collapse from grief. Mothers reaching out to their little boys, fathers screaming out their beloved daughters' names. Finally, it was there turn. There turn to see the damage bestowed on their only child, they walked in silence.

Fortunately, Jazmine was on the first floor.

The nurse stopped in front of a pale green door, a woman of Hispanic descent. Both of their hearts skipped a beat. The woman, whose name tag read Roslyn, opened the pale green door. Cold air hit their faces as they walked in. Her body lied on the bed...nearly lifeless.

"Jaz".

"The attacker busted into the classroom," Roslyn told them softly, "shot the teacher in the head, more details will be given later".

Tears. So many type of tears that are on this planet. Tears of anger, sadness, worry, bliss. Clear, crystal tears going down her pale face.

_If I live through this ordeal...what will it be like?_

_Will life change drastically, or will it remain the same? I have many questions, and I am aware that many of them will never be answered. Not all questions that we ask in this life will be answered. _

"Jazmine," Sarah croaked, rushing to her daughter's aid.

Jazmine was in bad shape, like many others. Most of her body was bandaged, covering devastating scars that will be later seen. The monitor that revealed to the parents that their daughter was still intact with this world, just barely. Quietly, only her heels indicating her presence, Sarah moved a chair closer to Jazmine, grasping her cold hands.

"Hey sweetie," Sarah caressed Jazmine's now scarred face, "Mother's here".

_Mommy is that you?_

Her grip getting slightly tighter, "You have to wake up Jazmine, you have to awaken for me, for Daddy, please".

Tom. He couldn't bare it. Her voice, it sounded cracked, begging for their daughter to open her eyes. If they lost her, it was already a challenge. Sarah was infertile, she could no longer have babies. Hell, she wasn't even suppose to have Jazmine.

Their miracle baby.

"Come on Jazzy," Tom thought to himself, "please baby please wake up".

The hospital was nearly empty now. Most grieving families had already left, unable to do anything else but pray. Currently, Robert Freeman was sleeping uncomfortably in a plastic green chair. Age did come with its disadvantages. Suddenly, he jerked up when a gentle hand touched his shoulder. When he awoke, he saw a young Hispanic woman.

She had light brown eyes, skin lighter than caramel, and a sympathetic smile. Usually, he would have easily grabbed onto the woman, trying to woo her. However, time like these was no place to flirt. He had to know.

The name tag directly above her left breast read the name Roslyn. She reached her hand out to him, he gratefully taking it. Her warm hands clashed with his cold ones, a warm smile somehow brightened his mood.

"Where are they," he cleared them, "where are my boys".

"Only one has awoken," her voice warm as the sun itself, "would you like to see him"?

_I'm sure that I'm not dead._

_I have awoken to a room that I am the only live thing in it._

_Ain't a hero though._

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**I'm still thinking how I'm going to put Huey in this. And Caesar and Cindy. But I need me some reviews, reviews make me happy. I wanna be happy when I do chapter 3, not sad. If ya want more chappies, more reviews will be required.**

**Thanks for the first five reviews tho-lata!**


	3. Smiles

**Let me say this to all people, in chapter 8 Pink Stilettos, I hope I didn't offend anyone, I truly hope. As for Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez, I didn't mean to make anyone offended, and if I did I apologize to you, sincerely. Thanks to DarkPhoenix however-I've thought something more to Ms. Hernandez's place. She was suppose to be a comic relief character, but I think more detail will be needed for her.**

**Thanks again for dropping by and reviewing, I appreciate it very much-I truly do. Here is chapter 3 of Scarred.**

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How long have I waited for my revolution, how long? _

_I wish only for the freedom of all man kind, not limited only to my people. There are many different minorities that are being corrupted by the government. Innocence lost. I don't wish for my life to end up like that, a dog for the government, to be wasted away. _

_To be turned into nothingness. How low could one get, how lowly could can a human being get? I do not, I refuse to live that lie._

_I've lectured many of my associates and friends alike on how to live their lives. How not to let others try to persuade you into damnation, into the lies that the world gives us. Did know that we humans feed off those lies, we do. We feed on it, just to know it, just the indulgence of it._

_God, it makes me sick._

_The person who came to us loaded and prepared was one of the lost souls of the world. Becoming so dispatched in their own mind that they destroyed whatever reality that was left in their minds. How sad it is._

_I pity that person. _

_I'm not dead. I say this confidently, because I am aware of myself. Unlike my friends, my body is not numb to the point of death, it is not cold. I opened my eyes to a quiet room, and when the nurse came to me I only asked her to leave me in peace. I did not wish to see anyone, not at the time._

_Remaining on my hospital bed, I listened to the outside voices. My room door shut, I could hear the cries. The pain cries of grieving relatives, calling out for their loved ones._

_Where were mine? Riley. I knew he was there, I saw him get shot. I ran to him, he wincing in pain, clutching to his side._

_Unable to protect him when he was able to protect others._

_I should get up now, try to find him-to see if any of my friends survived. Has anyone ever felt that feeling, wanting to move but can't? In my case I wish not to. I don't want to. _

_I'm afraid._

_Fear? Shock at the fact that I would be afraid of anything? I am human, I have fears like everyone else. Mine are normal phobias, not like the fear of the bogeyman or clowns. My fears are much more realistic than that._

_The fear of death and losing the ones that I love._

_Weird isn't it? Why should I be afraid of death? I am a revolutionist, wanting to change world order to a better one. Let me explain: I am not afraid of the average death. That does not concern me. Death I do not fear. All man must die eventually, its natural._

_No, its the way of my death that frightens me._

_At night, when the family is sleeping, I think. I want to live to see the day when all humans, not just African-American and Caucasians, to see the error of their ways. When they learn the word of peace and how to use it logically._

_I am widely aware that if that is to happen, I will not be peaceful to make my revolution. Many lives will be lost whenever that time comes, I will show no mercy for my enemies, none._

_Death like this, it is not accepted. My vision has yet to be seen, death like that...no. If I must die, I want to die on the battle field. _

_I am a solider, I will forever be one._

Riley smirked as his grandfather quietly entered his room. Not once in his life had he seen Robert Freeman look so relaxed and relieved.

"He's still injured Mr. Freeman," Roslyn told him.

"Thank you very much," Robert said sincerely, "thank you".

"No problem".

The nurse left them in peace and the two just stared at each other. Riley sighed, raising one bruised hand to his upbraided locks. Curly and soft they were, it didn't hurt to breathe anymore.

"I don't know where your brother is," Robert informed him, "they didn't tell me so don't ask".

"Wasn't gonna, but you know what's up with the others"?

"Jazmine is with her parents, and I haven't heard a thing about Caesar and Cindy". "Riley, did you get to see the face of the shooter"?

"No, the guy was wearing all black, and I couldn't even get a good look at him". His strong hands clenched into the bed sheets. He saw a few of his friends get shot down by that dude. How could this happen, the lost too great to handle. The worst part of it was that he wasn't getting any informations, none.

"Riley, you shouldn't worry about it so much right now". His grandfather advised him, "Worrying too much can cause your wounds to open".

"I know," he mumbled, "but I still wanna know tho".

Robert smiled. A true smile. Grasping onto his grandson's his smile never left his face, invisible tears of joy sprouting out of him. He thought for a moment...

"Man Granddad, don't act like a bitch ass nigga," Riley said with a smirk.

_I was in Biology when it happened, it came so fast. So very fast. To think it happened at our school in a matter of seconds. The dude bust in the door holding his guns ready to shoot and he did. Everyone was screaming, and he showed no one any mercy. Some kids quickly thought of getting outside by the opened windows. It worked, for some. The shooter was obviously inexperienced, some of my classmates getting shot in the ankle or the knee. _

_All unfortunate, but not fatal._

_Man, what else happened? All I can remember is trying to help my pregnant friend, Jolie, out the way. I had to push her out of the window before he got to me._

_I'm tellin ya, pregnant ladies are not easy to lift in a life or death situation, not one bit._

_No laughs? I thought so, when you've gotten shot I don't think cracking jokes is the most noble thing to do. Not the right time either, eh?_

_Anyways, the pain of a bullet is much more agonizing than I thought it would be. I've seen so many violent movies with people getting shot, I never thought that one day I would be one of those guys. After getting Jolie out of the way, I tried to fight off the dude in black._

_Dammit I did one hell of a job. _

_To be blunt and to make a long story short, the dude wasn't as strong as I expected him to be. A swift kick to the gut brought him down and punching in his face wasn't that hard. He (I'm assuming he was a he) tripped over a wounded body of Joey Lancelin, the new kid. He groaned in pain as the attacker mistakenly kicked his side and fell backwards._

_That is how I got shot._

_I wasn't thinking._

_As the body fell, the attacker pulled the trigger, and by time he did I had already turned on my heels._

_I will say this again to put more emphasis on it, the pain is agonizing. The smooth cool texture of the bullet does not cancels out the pain that comes with it. I fell down on my knees, seeing blood-my blood gushing out of a wound that was just below of my heart._

_The attacker, I don't know what became of him or her. All I know is when I fell on my knees, blood covering my clothes, the world became dark. My body hitting the floor with full velocity._

_Wonder if I went in slow motion. Slow motion like on television._

"Hey sweetie," Tom said brushing a strand of Jazmine's hair away, "how ya feeling".

Sarah's head was on Jazmine's legs, fast asleep. She had yet to let go of her daughter's hand. "We really miss you right now, I hope you can get up soon".

_Daddy._

"Its hard Jazzy Pie, and it hasn't even been a day yet". His voice cracking, "God, if I had-I know I was able to do something, please". He clutched the other hand that wasn't held by his wife, tears flowing down. He had prepared himself in the car, on how not to cry. He had to be the man, he had to be strong for his wife, for Jazmine. Now that Sarah was sleep, it was alright to cry-right?

"Dear Lord, please," he said softly, "bring her back to us-don't let her go".

"I know I may not deserve her, I know I don't-but she has so much to live for".

"Let her at least, at least live a little longer-please, please". His last words before falling into a deep, still clutching on Jazmine's hand for dear life. Hope can be the strongest weapon of them all.

_The pain, its subsiding now. And its still there though, why? I feel so cold, so sick. Let alone the loneliness and the disturbing feeling that is inside of me, I want it to go away. Please go away. I haven't I said that if it is my time to go, then I will happily join the land of the dead? It hurts so much. Mother, Father-I know you're there._

_I can feel you guys beside me, not letting go._

_You have too though, you have to let me go._

_I have seen so much, so much damage today. I don't wish to wake up and see the aftermath, I don't want news reporters or interviews. I can't handle it. Caesar, Huey where are you guys? Are you alive, I want to know-and the same time let go of this world. _

_What to do? _

_Huey. You would probably call me weak for acting this way, for wanting to die. I can hear your voice right now, "Jazmine, you will never live up to anything if you always whine about it". For some odd reason, I feel like laughing when I think of you._

_Tell me Huey Freeman, am I weak now?_

_I had to fight a battle, in which I had miraculous won. And all I want in the end is peace. No money, no sort of award-just peace._

_If death can give me that peace, then so be it._

_I have a right to cry, to beg, I want peace Huey. You may not understand it, and I doubt that you will ever will. I'm calling out to you Freeman, I'm calling out! I've been calling out to you for many years now, ever since we were young. Why won't you listen? Why won't care? Why?_

_Can't you hear me? Won't you hear me?_

Is she even alive? Is she?

Was anyone he cared for actually alive? Taking a deep breath, Huey Freeman got out of bed and opened his door.

It was as if he was invisible.

Nurses and doctors alike had many different matters to attend to, apparently. He walked in the hallways wearing a male nurse's uniform that he politely demanded from them, and a robe with slippers. No one noticed him, no one seemed to care. He shoved his hands into the robe's pockets, silently glancing around...to see if he knew anyone around.

Compared to the earlier time, the hospital staff had lowered down a bit. Passing by a clock hanging on the wall it read, eleven o' clock.

"Jazmine would probably be watching the Martha Stewart marathon by now," he said to himself, "I wonder-most likely she is".

A terrible thought that made him shudder; however, Huey Freeman had always been the one to be pessimistic and hardly ever see the light.

He continued to walk down the halls until he made it to the back hall, where the staircase was. The hall was as empty as it could be, and it wasn't hard for him to make a quick move and make it out. Cold, crisp wind blew into his face. It did not phase him, he walked to the edge of the roof looking down at the city below.

"Do they not see the chaos that has erupted here," he said with distaste in his voice, "what do these people see"?

Down below in Woodcrest, lights flickered throughout the city. Music and other sounds being played around. In Huey's he felt it was only a method of filling the void of emptiness that most of the citizens in the town felt. He narrowed angrily, ashamed to call this place his home.

"Disgusting".

_My grandma always told me that there is always a morning often. Hey, isn't it that the song of the movie: The Poseidon Adventure? My mom loves that movie. I remember my grandma telling me that if I have hope and believe in the good Lord then yeah, I can make it._

_I wonder if God sees me now._

_If he does, I wonder what he thinks of me. I go to church every Sunday with my mom and my brother. Because I promised my grandma on her death bed that I would never ever in my life miss a day of church, I always go._

_Huey should be like that sometimes, ha._

_Doubt it though, he never does that anyways. Besides, he doesn't even believe in God. Which is weird cuz he sometimes says his name in vain, which is a no no. I've told him that countless of times, but he has yet to believe me or care._

_More trouble on him then._

_Can't stay mad though, just worried now. Come on, the school was attacked by psychotic mad men, and I don't know where any of my friends at. I'm sorry folks, I just can't die yet. I don't plant to. My momma and my brother still need me, and I need them._

_Ever since...ever since my dad left us, I made a vow that I wouldn't leave her. She was miserable after my brother was born, him leaving her alone with two kids. I was told not to hate him, but I sure as hell dislike him. And we did good by raising my little brother James, he looks up to me. How can I leave them like that._

_Simple. I won't._

_I've heard on television, books too that in rare cases, the determination can possibly heal a person. Hey, if I can be one of those rare cases, I'm not complaining!_

Even in dire times, a smile can lift many spirits. The nurses tended to the wounds of Michael Caesar. His athletic chest was wrapped in bandages, mainly the spot where the gun shot wound had nearly killed him. His mother, Diana, sat by him smiling sincerely. His younger brother was home with a close family friend. To hear those words: "Ma'am your son is going to live, no complications".

A nurse rubbed Caesar's forehead softly, she looked quite puzzled. "Excuse me, Mrs. Caesar-is your son smiling"?

Diana got from her chair, and bent over to take a good look at her boy. Her smile only grew, and she turned to the baffled nurse.

"Did you know that there is always a morning after," she said with a chuckle, "and that a smile is the perfect way to get to that morning"?

A smile. It holds so many promises.

A smile. It brings light.

A smile. It shows love.

A smile. It tells us that there is hope, the greatest weapon of them all.

**

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I am happy. Can't kill off Caesar, or can I? So far the list goes by: Jazmine, Riley, Huey, and Caesar. They are all alive. But where is Cindy? Hmm...I don't know. Do you? Hehe. I will continue this fic if you guys review. Reviews make me happy and they make me think harder on my next chapter. So hope you guys like this, because I love this. As always I will accept critism, it helps me do better.**

**For Jaz/Huey fans-I'm getting to it. The love won't be rushed into, I'm expanding it. Do ya dig? Hope ya do!**


	4. Awaken

**I said to be on the lookout. Sorry it took soo long, I've missed this! Here is Chapter 4 of Scarred. School has been a real hassle this week since my return, but the weekend is two days from now so I'm not complaining. Do as you do read and review. Now, I must get back to Her Pink Stilettos. **

**Don't worry folks-Jaz and Huey are on their way. Enjoy Chapter four of Scarred.**

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_

I was dreaming.

_Its been a long time since I've dream. The irony of me dreaming at such a time is quite wild and dumb. But if you must know, I have to thank this dream. It was so realistic it helped me find the ball of light that I call life._

_The setting was a magnificent tropical island. My body was washed upon the beach, soft sand caressing me. I didn't need a mirror to tell that my hair was a frizzy mess, and that I probably looked horrible. Moving on, the clothes I was wearing seemed to come from a Tarzan movie. You know with the loin cloth and the top lion skin or something. _

_Before me was a marvelous island. I didn't know what to do. Should I stay or should I venture off? Finding it lonely being by myself, I walked into the lush green-hoping nothing would come to harm. One thing to know, leaves on tropical islands are HUGE! I think I got slapped by them several times. _

_Can you feel pain in a dream?_

_Are you suppose to?_

_Those two questions should have been in my thoughts, but they weren't. I continued to search for anything. Along the way I saw parrots, bugs, and many more different animals that I have never seen before. The sound of the jungle was settling, giving off the refresh feeling. Like when old people retire and they go off on this great cruise and come back looking so much better._

_Anyways, this one animal-a toucan, flew onto my shoulder. On instinct, I wanted to run around and get it away from me. Yet, it looked at me and I saw some kind of sign that told me not to react so foolishly. In response, I nodded and continued to walk into the deep jungle. Brightly colored frogs were lying on trees, the toucan stared at me saying "don't touch them"._

_Dangerous and deadly. A tempting tale indeed. The dirt beneath my bare feet was soft and mushy, so cool and it felt good too. Many more different animals surrounded me, and stopped to watch me. Soft breezes brought breath into my lungs, it was great._

_Then I realized I was on an unknown path. Where was I going, what was I doing? The paradise before was beautiful, something that could only be an illusion. Maybe I was dead!? The dark thought suddenly popped into my head, and I began to panic for a moment. Then I relaxed, if I was dead-the possibility was incredibly high, I would rather stay in this paradise. The sun shining brightly, the air clean and away from pollution._

_I love it here._

_My head shot up. The toucan flew away from me. It soared into the sky, but its gaze was stuck on me. Its dark eyes stared at me with such intensity, I had the nerve to go the other way. It was as if it was reading me, studying my body and soul. As if rolling its eyes, it flew off, still cawing at me. _

_I could have ran away. Maybe I should have._

_I didn't. Curiosity got the better of me and I followed the bird. Doubts began to rise within me while I walked. What if this paradise was dangerous? What if the toucan was more than a toucan, how freaky would that be!? Sucking in breath I decided to continue, no pain no gain. How many times have I heard my mother say those things to me? I guess if I wanted something to be gained, I will have to feel some pain to get it, won't I?_

_The sun shined brightly on me. Thank goodness for Mr. Sun, Toucan Sam was flying so quickly-I could barely catch up. Deep inside of me, I felt this tingling feeling. To explain myself, there was something important happening around me. I was a part of the happening and deep inside I knew I shouldn't be on that island. To my annoyance, I didn't know. I knew something was going on, and that I should be there. But, I didn't know what it was. _

_The feeling was distant and hurtful. _

_A pain in my heart, my soul. It was so far away and so close at once. For the very first time since waking up on this paradise, I wanted to leave. I wanted to run away and find that missing piece, that piece that's been nagging me. _

_I stopped._

_Toucan stopped with me._

_The colorful bird turned to me once again, its dark eyes piercing at me. I could tell by the look that it was giving me that it was aware of my thoughts. It perched itself on a large tree branch, its eyes still staring. The way the bird looked at me, a memory began to rush through me. A bad memory. _

_I shook my head in denial._

_It couldn't be._

_Not on this island._

_Not this paradise._

_I took a few steps back. It couldn't be, it shouldn't be. Dark eyes soon transformed into a medium brown, my mouth went dry. Before I could even hear the enraged toucan's cry, I was already on my heels. The presence of the bird was near me; I had to get away. I didn't turn my head to see how far my adversary was, there was no need. I was sure if I turned back and saw the damn toucan so close to me, I would have fainted right then and there. _

_The cursed bird was closer, and the closer it got the fresher the memory became. I could feel his hardened grip around my neck, tightening it. His deranged eyes piercing at me, a wicked grin to show his dominance. How that wicked grin and those dangerously sparkling eyes turned to slits when I showed resistance. How his grip tightened and I began to gag for breath._

_That toucan and that person had the same eyes._

_That toucan, no matter how beautiful it was-a threat._

_Tears began to stream down my face at this realization. If this dream was suppose to keep me content, why wasn't it working? Why did it have to bring back such heart breaking memories. _

_Die._

_That was the only way out. Hidden feelings. The thought of death continued to flood me as he processed against me. Just kill me and be over it. While those depressing memories and thoughts began to engulf me, I fell._

_All I saw ahead of me was green, large trees. I didn't pay attention to what was beneath me, I didn't care. I was not aware of the intense hole that was down below, and because of that mishap I fell. The first thought that ran through my mind was "I'm gonna hit hard rock". Fortunately or unfortunately, cool water wrapped me up. My lungs were unprepared for the rush of water: I gagged, panicked, and cried out._

_Finally, after gaining the proper composure I looked up. The same cursed bird looked down at me, the gleam in its eyes were laughing at me. As for my own I was positive they shown the following: sadness, pain, and weakness._

_I was weak. _

_So very weak._

_Possibly, because of my negative thoughts-the whole predicament turned worse. I felt a sudden tug to my leg. Suddenly, I was pulled under water. Holding my breath, I searched around in the depths trying to find the thing that was holding me down._

_I kicked and struggled to get back up. Gasping for air, my lungs beginning to burn._

"_Isn't that what you wanted"? I heard a voice tell me._

"_What, what do you mean"!?_

"_Death, isn't it what you wanted, what you begged for"?_

"_Yes-I, I don't want this"!_

"_Don't want what Jazmine, what do you want"?_

_While I continuously attempted to pull myself from my invisible captor, I thought frantically about what the tender voice told me. It was female, and it wasn't a female that I knew. At the time all I cared about was getting the hell out of there._

"_Jazmine, what do you want to do-your doubts are keeping you from freedom"._

"_I want...I want"._

"_Yes"?_

_Pulled down once again, I fought my way out. Not caring if tears were flowing down, I cried out._

"_I WANT TO LIVE"!!_

Her eyes shot opened. Her chest went up and down at a fast rate, her eyes searching the area.

_I'm alive, I'm up and alive. I'm in the hospital._

The overwhelming pain had subsided, her body numbed to the max. She carefully breathed in, breathed out-her chest slowly going with the flow. Her vision was blurry, but at the least she could feel her surroundings. The bed sheets that she was lying on were soft and comforting; the lights above her were dim, but not dark. They did not flicker, nor did they blind her eyes.

_Alive. I'm alive. I can breathe. I can breathe._

Jazmine didn't know if she should be happy or distressed. In her dream she was content, concerned, and in the end terrified. Right now however, she was just numb. The excitement of actually opening her eyes didn't even appear in her thoughts, she just stared blindly at the pale room. Her eyes traveled onto a heart monitor that was beside her bed.

_My heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Thump. Beep. Beep. Beep._

She recognized this part of the hospital. It wasn't the ER, the lesser extremes. It reassured her that she was no longer in any danger. Her body wasn't hook on any wires or tubes that normal ER patients she saw on television. The door that led into her room was locked shut. A bright green it was, the sounds of doctors and nurses doing their businesses.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

A gentle smile was placed onto her lips. The sound of her heartbeat, so cultivating. Raising her hand, she used the light from the windows to see it.

It was bandaged. Like most of her body.

_It felt weird to look at my hand. It didn't seem to be so disfigured, so disgusting. Then I began to think about my face. The only mirror in the room, which really wasn't big, appeared to be in the restroom. Thinking of restrooms, I want to take a bath. Not here though. At home. A nice, hot bath to get all the nasty off of me. _

_I feel very dirty right now._

_Mainly because I've been in this same damn hospital robe for way too long. I'm use to taking nice, steamy showers in the morning. I want to shower, I want to bathe!_

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

_I place my hand onto my heart. I smile again, I can feel it beat. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad. I'm not angry either. _

_Maybe I should be. Maybe I should be angry. After all the terrible things that have happened to me, all the horror I' have been through-I should be angry. However, I just can't be angry right now. I can't be happy or sad. I can't be remorseful or silent. Generally, I can't be anything. There are not many emotions in me that pin point what I'm feeling right now. Right this moment. The second that I opened my eyes and sucked in a gallon full of hospital air. I feel nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. For once I'm not worrying about anything. I'm not afraid of what is going to happen to me or what will happen to my friends. My eyes look outside the window, the blinds opened. The warm rays of the sun hit me with such tenderness I couldn't be disturbed._

_I breathed in. I breathed out._

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

_The sound of my pounding heart. My breathing heart. I clutched my chest, my eyes narrowing. I lived. I'm living._

_Nothing much to say._

_Footsteps were approaching. I could hear the doorknob turn to the left, then to the right. Squishy shoes entered. I suppose the person who entered already knew that was awaken, because after opening the door...they just stopped. I didn't see their reaction nor did I care. My eye stared outside to the morning light, the bright light that poured upon me. There were no emotions that swarm into me at the time. For a few minutest the invader just stood by the doorway, and I just stared at the sunshine._

_Soon after it didn't take the person long to say, "Oh my God"._

_It was a female voice obviously. Right when she said that, she ran out the room. Most likely to tell a doctor or someone, it really didn't occur to me._

_Not much to say._

_My hand was clutched onto my heart._

_Sun was pouring down onto me, wiping away the coldness._

_I had lived. I was living right now. I could feel me heart, the soft thumps. _

_Wrong to say. I didn't care about anyone but myself. I didn't care about Caesar, Cindy, Riley, or Huey. Just me for the moment, because I really wanted to die. I wanted it to go away. The pain, the humiliation, everything-to vanish. Suddenly, like a flash-weakness was gone. It was gone. It was gone because I was there, I was breathing._

_I lived._

_With that I was content. Not happy, sad, angry, humiliated, but content. Content with my life and not caring what was going to happen next._

"Its amazing that she has been so therapeutic after three weeks," he told them calmly, "I feel that your daughter will make a perfect recovery".

Tom and Sarah sat in the Dr. Hanson's office. Serious expressions on their faces, their hands locked with each other's. It had been nearly a month since the incident. Almost a month. For almost a month, six teenagers that attended Woodcrest Senior High School were victims of a school shooting. For that month, nearly that whole month did they pray that six wouldn't go up to seven. For nearly a month, they thought they wouldn't see their daughter again.

"A coma as lengthy as this-most people wouldn't come out of it," Dr. Hanson explained, "but Jazmine did and that is all that matters".

"Yes," Tom agreed, "but all the physical damage has been done with"?

Dr. Hanson furrowed his brow. "Jazmine was beaten to such an extent she could have been crippled, but wasn't".

"Unlike the others, she was not shot but left for dead when the shooters decided to set the school on fire".

"She lost a lot of blood, third-degree burns, and much smoke hit into her lungs," he told them gently, "and that has been taken cared of".

Sarah shook her head with uncertainty, "That's wonderful Doctor, and yet-I'm worried about her mental health".

Throughout their discussion, the elderly doctor was standing. He was a white man, about 5'7 feet tall, and had a few gray strands on his brown beard. He wore the regular medical attire, his square glasses giving off that younger appeal. His gruff fingers lightly touched the books on his bookcase, his eyes staring at the couple. His tongue was tied. He was not a shrink. His profession dealt with the pain in the organs, and other places in the human body. He was limited to the mind and the soul. Walking behind his smooth wooden desk, he sat into his leather chair.

He lied his hands onto the desk, crossing them. He looked up at the couple and said to them what they needed to hear.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dubois, I am not a shrink". "I am sure that Jazmine's mental health has been jeopardize, but I do not know what to do".

"Most likely she will refuse to discuss the matter, or she will just isolate herself".

"When she gets home," he directed them cautiously, "maybe you should leave her at home for a while, let her absorb the aftermath".

Sarah looked puzzled, "Absorb"?

"I mean Mrs. Dubois let her get a feeling of life now, a realization of what has happened".

Sarah wanted to slap him when the doctor told her that. Her daughter understood completely what had happened to her. A rocket scientist didn't need to tell them that, but she kept quiet some of his words did make sense. Tom paid much attention to the doctor's words, and at the same time thinking of how they were going to go through this.

"In due time she will learn how to heal herself with the help of her family and friends".

Jazmine sat in the hallway. Nurses and doctors walked passed her as if she didn't exist, and she didn't mind it all. It had been a week since she had awoken; nothing seem to have changed while she slept. For a week her parents never left her side, which wasn't a surprise to her. Being in comatose for nearly a month was a frightening experience for the couple, and she didn't expect them to leave her side. Her mom usually came with her favorite _Seventeen_ magazines that came in the mail.

Once she came back, Jazmine was stronger than many would expect. She was capable of sitting up in her bed, eating her food, and doing other things that she would do in her hospital room.

However, she knew that her parents were going to speak with her doctor today.

Jazmine wanted to know what was going on.

She sat in a plastic chair beside Dr. Hanson's office. Her hair, that had been cut, hit the wall with a soft thud. After getting up, she asked a nurse to give her mirror. Astonishingly, her facial features didn't suffer as much as she thought they would. Half of her mulatto skin, including her right eye, was bandaged because of the intense flames. Most of her body was bandaged, but that really didn't upset her. She was even upset when she realized that her once nappy, but gorgeous puffy hair had to be chopped.

It now barely passed her neck.

_I'm gonna miss shaking it around for the world to see. I'm okay with that though, I wanted to get a hair cut anyways. I wonder what Mommy and Daddy are talking about? They probably discussing about how I feel about all this..._

_They could have just asked me._

_The again, they're worried of how I would react to it. Guess I can't blame them. I'm hungry again, I want some French Fries. Its been terribly long since I've eaten a delicious pack of French Fries, yum. And a cheeseburger, I'm going to McDonald's once I'm out of here!_

"McDonald's," she hummed to herself.

Jazmine body rocked side to side in her chair, her eyes closed in glee. She really did want some McDonald's and some junk food too. Both sounded good. No offense to hospital food, she felt like being greedy at the moment. After what she had been through, being greedy wasn't too bad.

"Jazmine," Sarah said with a soft voice, "were you trying to spy on us"?

Her eye shot opened. Jazmine turned to her mother with a sunny smile, "Of course not Mommy-I'm leaving today, aren't I"?

"Yes sweetie, you're going home".

Jazmine narrowed the eye that was still in works, "Did ya cook anything". Her voice in a sly motion.

"Well, I was planning too, but it seems you don't want that".

Tom entered the conversation, "It looks like my little girl wants some McDonald's"!

Jazmine jumped from the chair and ran to hug her father. He fiercely returned the hug. Her green orb shined at him with innocence and bravery. "Yes Daddy Jazmine wants McDonald's"!!

"Okay you two, lets get to the car and get ya some food, Jazzy".

Grabbing both of her parents hands, the three began to walk away from the office.

"Bye Mr. Hanson, see ya on my appointments"!

The good doctor laughed, "Yes Jazmine, can't wait to see you too".

While the three walked into the parking lot, a feeling of refreshment washed over the parents. Memories of Jazmine's younger days ran through them. Her first steps, first words, when they would walk in the park together. Sarah and Tom looked at each other, their eyes revealing to each other how happy and relieved they were. Jazmine on the other hand continued to smile brightly, humming the tune of McDonald's latest commercial.

_This isn't over._

_I can feel my parents happiness and warmth. Sadly, I cannot feel it. For I know that there are many more obstacles I must go through until I reach utter sanctuary. _

_I do not feel warmth._

_I do feel content._

_I'm content with my life and relieved that I may see another day. But right now, I'm hungry and want some McDonald's. Spicy McChicken here I come! French Fries prepare to be gobbled with ketchup as my aid!!_

_Content I am._

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**

Took me awhile, but I did it! I think so far this is my favorite. Jazmine may not be my favorite character-I am having fun with her though in this fic. Compared to Pink Stilettos, she has grown up over the years and understands what has happened to her. She also sees that the battle has been won, and the war is far from over.

**Meaning: More drama, a lil angst, and surprises for you all. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	5. Let Me

**I am sorry my fellow Boondocks fans, I am sorry for the hiatus! Well, Boondocks wise. Please don't try to kill me, please don't. Getting on, this may answer some questions that were not answered in the last chapter.**

**Yep. I pulled one on ya, didn't I? **

**The beginning lines are from Let Me Fall by Alexz Johnson. I know, Instant Star, what the!? My sister likes watching the show, and by chance I had entered the room when the song was being played so I decided lets do this with Scarred. Its been a thought, and I owe you guys for being so lazy. **

**Hope you guys don't hate me. Chapter 5 of Scarred.**

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_Let me rise._

_Let me fall._

_Let me breathe, I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all._

If she wished to do this to herself, then why not let her do it? Besides, she was always the outcast of her friends, the one who wasn't in tune with herself. She didn't mind being blamed. It was her fault anyways, and there was no way she was going to back down. The price was extremely high, but it didn't shock her. Her life was over anyways, and she was tired of being something she wasn't. It was time for her to break, it was time for her to roar, and she knew that everyone heard.

_I have been called many names throughout my 17 years of living, and not once had I thought of fighting back. It was pointless anyways, I didn't need to fight back. If I fought back, it would only get worse, and I didn't have time to think upon the consequences of my actions. Today though, I didn't care. Most likely this will cost me more than my famed reputation, the scholarships, or any of the bull crap that was going to be mine. _

_Let me rise._

_I was born in an elite family. With a whore of a mother, and an absent father was the family I lived in. Raised mainly by the house keepers, I was heavily taught to be dependent on me and no other. Only naturally, as I grew I became dependent solely on myself and didn't accept any help from any other person. I was aware that the nature I had acted on wasn't my own culture, a culture that originated in a racial group that is of the "controversial" eras._

_Because of what I chose to act like, I had been called numerous names by not only that particular racial group, but my own. The most common is the infamous "Wigga" which is just a way of saying a whiter person who wants or acts like a nigga. There are many "wiggas" in the world today, but for me being the only white girl to be such it was something else. I showed them all, I showed everyone. I may not have the skin color, but I had the skills. Pro basketball baby, yep that's me. I had the pure talent of beating any black girl or boy in the street, and that is where I earned the respect of that particular racial group._

_My parents, of course, were outraged. The mere thought of their only daughter, my older brother being in college, acting the way she does was disturbing. Like the rest, in comparison, I ignored their threats and insults. I ignored the words that their "friends" unmercifully called me ever since I was ten, I didn't care. The irony of the matter is that mother, yes my mother, had always been fond of the blacks, especially the men. I can recall years ago that my mom would lock me in my bedroom so she and Abdul could play around in the bedroom she shared with my father._

Her emotions were no longer with her, fading away from her body, mind, and heart. She was only a shell of her former self, void of anything that was her. It was wrong, she knew that, to become what she had become, but she wanted to make a point. And if becoming the best wasn't it, then it didn't matter to her anymore. If beating everyone else at their own game wasn't enough, then to hurt them, to bruise them, to leave their mark on them was the point she was going to make.

_Every year, every month, every week, every day there would be a new man, a new friend that she had to play with. As I grew, she didn't even bother to lock me up in my room anymore, she just did it. If it was in the kitchen, then the kitchen, the den, the why the hell not? The den it is. She knew I never had the motivation to actually tell on her, to tell anybody. Like her, I wished for the dark secrets that lied within our family, to only lie within our family. It wasn't like my father didn't have his mistresses on the side. _

_I guess my brother has always been a positive source of comfort for me._

_Charles, my brother, like myself had always been indifferent about my parents various affairs. Being older than me, I don't know how he handled it at first. Being taught in school that married couples shouldn't venture off in search for new lovers, it was immoral. My parents...they don't care about morals. They don't care about the people they hurt, the people that are suppose to be closest to them, they never gave a damn about me or my brother. So why the hell should I give a damn about the, huh? _

_Answer that for me._

_Nowadays, my dad leaves home more often to get with his ladies, and my mom just does it at the house. I don't care anymore, they're adults they'll learn someday. Even if its their deathbed when they realize their asses are going to burn for all eternity._

_Getting back to my brother, he is my rise. He is the sun to my moon, the light to my darkness. He didn't care how the way I acted, and he is probably the whitest guy I know. Second to Tom. Sometimes I see emo in him, a little bit of emo. The thought of emo wouldn't cross the mind of his friends, Charles is a prep, he wears the sweaters and the bright colors. He goes to the country club and has the same snobbish friends that our parents have, that doesn't stop him from being my big brother. He is now intending Harvard, his major is Psychology, and I say that is a good choice._

_A late choice, good though._

_One time, I remember, he came home for Thanksgiving. If you don't know, he's 25, he wants to be a psychiatrist, but he wants to prescribe the medicine too, so he has to stay in school longer. Getting back to Charles, he told me how he felt about his life, and what he planned to do with it after college._

"I'm not coming back Lucinda".

A 16 year old Cindy stared at her older brother on the balcony. Their parents had invited some friends for Thanksgiving and were drinking up a storm. They didn't even notice the disappearance of their two children.

"What do you mean Charles"?

_My brother, no matter how preppy he may be, had always been a man of dreams. He didn't wish to stay in this town, to him it was hell, and I felt the same. Apparently, he didn't wish to come back._

He turned to me, his sapphire eyes appearing to sparkle in the sun, "I'm not coming back after school, I'm going to move New York after this, after school".

_I wasn't shocked by his words, only disturbed._

"Oh".

"Please Lucinda," his eyes soft with love, "don't be this way, don't be so troubled by this, you can come and visit me".

"New York is far, and Carol and Rob will not pay for the air fare".

"Then I'll pay for it," he suggested, determined to lighten the mood.

"No Charles," she responded, "you're going to be new in the big city, and you have to be settled in".

The siblings sat on the balcony, watching the sunset. The air wasn't tense, despite the news that was dropped on her, Cindy was okay. She could handle herself without her brother. He had been a college for so long, she had become accustomed to her parents lifestyle without him.

Out of the blue, "Then come with me".

This caught her off guard, "What, no way Charles".

"Come on," he whined, "an education at Harvard can get me anywhere, and you can always transfer to a new school and...".

"Stop it Charlie".

The forcefulness in her voice was unintended, but it did grab his attention.

"Charles, I have been on my own without you long enough, and I can handle myself".

She continued, "Besides, my high school years are almost over, and I rather finish this off now, I'll see you soon enough bro, don't get all emotional on me".

Charles chuckled, "Alright I won't, but if you need me-Email me, call me, page me, do whatever you have to do to contact me, you know I love you".

She smiled, "I know".

_Charles is my rise, and forever will be. His influence has always made me want to do better as an athlete, a student, and as a person. He hid his true emotions well enough to breakout of this hell, he found a way out. He pushed himself, letting people believe what they had seen, and broke out. I want to break out, I want to get out, and I was going to get out. Unfortunately, my former plan of action didn't go accordingly as it was suppose to go and I had to make a default one in case._

_Let me fall._

_I have enemies, lots of them. They have found this urge to attack me and break me in any way they can. For a long time now I have tolerated their bull and put up with their schemes, but not anymore. No longer shall I be so easy going, the cool chick. I'm tired of being the one who has to tolerate so much in such a long time, I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of my parents, I'm tired of my peers. I have made many friends, but not even they could stop me from the decision that had already been made. I wasn't going to back down, I refuse to back down. They caused me hell, they caused me to suffer, they caused all these hidden emotions, bottle up feelings to explode into something dangerous._

If she chose to tarnish some names, break their little games, who were they to stop her? She was going to get what they deserved, even if they wanted it or not.

_During my quest, for whatever I wanted, I found out a lot of things. I found out who were my friends were, and who my enemies were. I regret if they were to be harmed in any way, but sacrifices must be made in the quest for vengeance, atonement?_

_To be honest, I don't know what I want._

_I do know that I want hurt, I want people hurt. To understand the turmoil that has racked me since I was a young child, they were going to understand._

_Let me breathe, I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all._

It would be wrong of her to reject an emotion that was unfamiliar to her. Wouldn't it? It would be wrong of her to throw away a feeling that made her feel so good, and at the same time so foreign to herself. A feeling that kept her awake late at night, giving off a sense that made her want to do things to herself that she had never done to herself before.

A strong desire.

An intense desire to be touched.

She had never felt such an overwhelming feeling ever. Enveloping her into a state of lust and arousal for many hours at night. At school, at school as well-those same developing feelings returned whenever she was around him.

_That guy at school, I apologize to, I'm sorry. If you're not dead, you may never speak to me again. Just like all the others who are going to abandon me when they find out the truth. They have every right to hate me, every right to scorn me for life. It doesn't matter anymore. Wrong as it may be, I do not feel any remorse to what has happened. Maybe I will feel it later on, if I am allowed to live, or if I choose not to end my own life-will I regret my actions then. _

_I don't now, I do not feel any remorse over my actions...now._

_Until that time comes, until that rush of remorse fills me, I do not care. I am glad I lost control, I am glad that I was able to breathe for once and able to release all the frustration and anger that was held inside of me for so long. It had to be done, what happened, happened and no one can take it back._

Her body felt unusually numb, so cold and dead. She knew she wasn't dead though, she was very much alive. Blood still pulsed through her veins, and her heart was still pounding like it should. It had been a month now, a month since that day. That day of truth and solitude, she didn't mind it at all. She walked down the halls, the cackling thunder of gunshots pouring itself in them. While she walked she didn't fear anything. Her classmates ran past her, running away from the gunshots, terror evident on their faces. She just walked down the halls, as if nothing happening, as if she was just going to her next class.

Her eyes sparkled at this moment. Sparkled.

On that day, the whole world seemed to stop. For once, it was going the way she wanted it to go. A few bodies of injured kids were spotted as she walked, lying on the ground clutching to their wounds, afraid that their eyes would close forever. This was delightful in her eyes, so beautiful, so uplifting.

_That day. That day, it happened. I remember being in class when we heard the first gun shots. The class that I was in was closer to the street, and my teacher had a back door that led to the outside. So, everyone was able to come out alright. _

_I didn't._

_When my teacher wasn't looking, I walked off-going into the direction of the gunshots. The closer I got, the larger my smile became, I feel it...it felt so good. So liberating. Everything was coming into place, everything was going to work out._

_When I made it to where the gunshots, I saw him. Holding the gun in his hand, holding it tightly in his grasp. He could have killed me, he could have shot me right there in the door way of the science lab. He didn't though, taking off his mask, he smirked at me. He found me amusing, he found me-captivating. He found me attractive as well. He walked to me, light green eyes tracing my form._

"_Hey," his breath smelt like smoke, "what are you doing here"?_

"_I should be asking you the same thing," I smirked._

_I should have been afraid of him, terrified by the looks he had given me, but I wasn't. Attracted by his grudge like material, I toyed with him, and he played with me. It was a fair game as his comrades raided the school. _

_Then I did it._

_It wasn't hard to handle him, to break him. People like that, they are extremely able to handle. They are also extremely able to break and destroy. That is what I did to that guy who wanted a piece of me, I broke him down. _

_The cops found me in the cafeteria, sitting at a table, eyes staring off into the distance. The entire place was deserted, and I was the only one there. Bits and pieces of glass, some smoldered with blood, were all around. They called to me. Calling out to the white girl with blond pigtails, who stared vacantly at her surroundings. Who appeared to not understand what was going around her, that her school had been raided and several of her classmates had been gunned down. That is what they saw, and they were half right._

_Let me breathe. I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all._

For a month now, doctors had been coming in and out. She was in great physical health, she walked around the hospital, and ate on a daily basis. To their dismay, that wasn't enough.

Cindy sat in a dim room, in a metal room. Her once long blond hair had been cut to her shoulders, so much blood on them. Her sapphire eyes, that had once held so much life, were darken with anger and psychopathy. Her mind, it was not the same as it was before, it was no longer clean. It was now tainted, and was barely part of this world. She would often come back from her fantasy world, and when that would happen-it was a bittersweet happening.

"I'm sorry Mr. McPhearson," a nurse said gently, "there is nothing we can do for her now".

Charles was at school when he had gotten the call from his mother, who was surprisingly in a worried tone. It took him several days to find a flight that would take him to Woodcrest; he made it though, and it was not a pretty sight to behold.

Sighing, "I know-I understand".

He stared at the door made of metal, guilt spilling into his heart. If only, if only he had done something, anything. Cindy wasn't like him, she couldn't hold onto this reality like he could. She wasn't able to deceive people into believing what she wanted them to so easily, not like him. It was his fault, giving her the impression that she could.

It had been his fifth time returning to Woodcrest Asylum, in the far back area of town. It was the section that was covered with more livestock and nature than the main city area. The asylum was fairly large, due to the incoming patients every year. Charles had visited the asylum once, back in high school, for a class trip. If a student took a psychology class and was a senior, they were able to join the trip. He of course, finding himself intrigued with the idea, decided to go on.

It was a heart breaker.

There had been many people, who were in there for manic depression, reality problems, suicidal watch, and many more disorders. He remembered seeing a woman who was tied in a white straight jacket for trying to slit here wrists so many times, and also attempting to hang herself. A female nurse and a male nurse had to come in to feed her, bathe her, and literally care for her. It was a disturbing sight, but it enabled Charles to see what the world out there could truly deduced a human to. He even found out that some of the patients in the asylum were once respectable people who had too much stress on their hands, or they had come from rich families and was usually neglected.

He never thought Cindy would be one of those patients.

Not his Cindy, not Lucinda, his baby sister. The only person to understand him, to his reasoning with the world. Who too, wanted to be freed from this damnation. Who just wanted to be free just like him, no-it wasn't fair!

Sucking in deep breaths, Charles decided to go in the room.

"Hey Lucinda, what's been up"?

No answer. Her head remained lowered, covering the still blue eyes.

Grabbing another dim looking chair out of a corner, "The ruckus in Woodcrest has calmed down a bit".

No answer.

"Mom and Dad-they're handling this dilemma in their own way you know, they have actually stopped drinking, they just can't find it in themselves to come here, you know"?

Like all his frequent attempts, he got no reply. Only the same blank stare at her hands, and the flickering lights over head was his response. His eyes, his body, they were racked with pity and guilt-what could he do? What could be done?

Without thinking, he embraced her.

He didn't know if it would bring her back from her death like state, or at least notion him that some piece of his younger sister was left. He noticed that her body was explicably cold, deathly cold-it even made him feel more sick.

He couldn't hold it anymore, he couldn't hold it together any longer. The tears of remorse began to flow down his cheeks as an inhuman cry left his mouth as he desperately held onto Cindy's body, hoping that his tears would do some good for the both of them.

"Please," he breathed into her shoulder, "please come back to me Lucinda, I don't want to be alone".

_The price for this._

_The price that I had to pay for my selfishness._

_A steep price it is, the price that had to be paid._

_The price that I had to pay for my rage, selfishness, and jealously was not only most of my sanity, but my freedom as a human. It was a price that I was willing to pay._

_I do not regret it at all, yet. Let me rise, let me fall. Let me breathe, I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all._

_You didn't think I was serious when I said that, did you?_

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**Here's Cindy! To explain if you don't, Let me Rise-represents her struggle to be accepted. Let me Fall-represents her spiral into despair. The final part represents what she did to lose herself and the price that was paid.**

**Here's a question: What did Cindy do on that day? Will she ever get out of her vegetable like state? When will there be Huey/Jaz...please be patient.**

**I hope this makes up for lost time. Thanks for the reviews and not getting an angry mob out on me. The next chapter will go back to the Freemans.**


	6. Emotion

**I'm back, here is chapter 6 of Scarred. It deals with Huey and there is some Huey/Jaz interaction in this one. I'm sorry for posting so late, thank you all for supporting me. I truly hope you enjoy this.**

**Also, I do not own the Boondocks-I only own the plot and the ocs that may be used for dramatic effect. I also do not own the the song Emotional Rollercoaster by Vivian Green.**

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_I'm on a emotional rollercoaster  
Loving you ain't nothing healthy  
Loving you was never good to me  
But I can't get off_

The words of Vivian Greene's music replayed back in his head, over and over again. It had been nearly a month since the shooting and everything appeared to be alright in the quiet suburbs of Woodcrest. But Huey knew, he knew that nothing would be same. Example, there had been frequent parties being held throughout the town, but a month ago-they had suddenly ceased. The country club was temporarily closed, and even Gangstalicious or Thugnificent have ceased partying. Recently on the news, he had been informed that both famed rappers were donating money to families that had been effected.

Riley's injuries weren't severe, and by the second week he was already out of the hospital. But Huey and Granddad already knew there was something different about him. Of course he remained the same old Riley that he was before: yelling, using Huey's stuff without asking, and being Riley. Yet, there was a subtle difference that both were able to detect. Truth be told there had been less yelling, more using of Huey's stuff without asking, and less being Riley. Every now and then, he would mumble a few words that sounded indescribable, but kind all the same.

Granddad and Huey thought better not to speak about it.

As for Granddad, well he was still Granddad. He had found a steady girlfriend, who wasn't a gold digger, who was also taking care of him. Her name was Rose, and she was a tough cookie to handle, but maybe that is why Granddad loved her so much. Fortunately for the two boys, she was in her mid 50's and didn't mind having a boyfriend who was much older than her. After the incident, Granddad didn't go out as much, staying inside to watch television or whatever else. Rose understood and happily stayed with the boys to watch television. In Granddad's case, he was pretty much the same as with Riley, but with subtle changes.

Then there is Huey. How much had he changed, how much he didn't? For self-evaluation, Huey would say he hadn't change much through the ordeal. That was mainly because he wasn't like his younger brother or his friends, who had actually gotten shot. Naturally he was sicken to his heart about the fact if Riley was to die or Caesar, and he would never admit it-Jazmine too. Cindy's brother Charles, who was rarely ever seen in Woodcrest, informed them of her condition. No one dared speak of Cindy in front of Caesar or Riley. When it came down to it, Huey hadn't changed much, and was unable to detect a change in himself. As did Riley, Granddad, and anyone else who came near him. It was as if that cold aura that consistently surrounded him had only grew since then.

Returning back to the previous topic, Huey was in his bedroom listening to a Vivian Greene song that he had downloaded onto his Ipod. He didn't like Vivian Greene, and yet he found himself listening to the music in his bed. The song didn't have any particular relation to the predicament that had befallen on Woodcrest, but hearing the soothing voice of Vivian Greene was fairly addictive and he found himself listening to her on frequent occasions.

Who had gotten him stuck on it?

"_Hi Huey!"_

_She had done it again. Somehow she was able to unlock the front door and waltz in without a care. Granddad and Riley were out for the day, leaving me alone for some peace and quiet. I was ignorant to believe that I would actually obtain some peace today, I was such a fool. Jazmine came into view, smiling as she regularly did, and took a seat beside me on the couch._

"_Hello Jazmine, what are you doing here?"_

"_My mom and dad went out today, and I had nothing better to do, so I decided to visit you!"._

_That same smile. Why hadn't that smile gotten old yet? For the past seven years she has entered my home unannounced and made her way into anything she wished. I guess that's our fault, we always allowed it. Anyways getting back to the story, she sat down and glanced at the television, then scowled at it. _

"_Don't you like BET?"_

"_Don't ask stupid questions, you know I hate BET Jazmine."_

_She pouted, "Yeah I know, but why not-what about the music?"_

"_What about the music?"_

"_Do you hate it?"_

_I hadn't notice earlier that Jazmine was slowly approaching me, and I didn't know how to react. It was subtle movements, a swift move when she got the chance. I didn't say anything at first, I wanted to see where this would go._

"_BET corrupts the youth of tomorrow, its a plot to destroy black people, but I doubt you would see it."_

"_So you're saying the music is bad too?"_

"_Pretty much yes-the music is bad too."_

_She rolled her eyes, "Then you don't watch enough of BET, because there is some good music in there."_

_I was getting annoyed with her, "Yeah, like what?"_

_That was when she quickly grabbed the remote from my grasp. For once I was left off guard for a bit, how had she gotten so quick? Smiling triumphantly at me, she changed the channel to BET where I heard it. Jazmine began to hum the tune and move a bit in her seat, dancing on the couch. It was Vivian Greene, her smooth voice playing on screen, another bright smile appearing on Jazmine's face. Despite trying not to show it, I had to give her credit, the song was pretty good. After the song was finished, she handed me the remote back, and we stayed that way for the rest of the afternoon. Watching television and conversation over typical popular culture._

Now he remembered, it was Jazmine. Jazmine had came over that day, he wasn't sure how long ago it was, but she was there trying to convince him to watch BET. She hadn't changed his views; however, she left a fine print of her work on him. Pressing pause on his Ipod, Huey stared up at the ceiling fan, watching it circle over him. He felt uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. Besides Cindy, Jazmine had been a very difficult topic to discuss. None of them had seen her since that day at school, and from her parents weren't allowed to do so. Cindy loosing her sanity and Jazmine being left in a coma, it was particularly hard to discuss.

Then he had to think-why was it hard? Huey had never been the one to hide from the truth, but he wasn't hiding. No, he knew what had happened, hadn't he? Two of his friends, his old friends were left in critical states. What was wrong with him? Tragedies were frequent, they happened everyday and they were being talked about right and left. What was wrong now? Why wasn't anyone talking, why wasn't he talking? The walls suddenly felt like they were closing in, suffocating him.

He never felt this way...what was he feeling?

"Yo Huey!!" His brother came upstairs to the bedroom that they still shared, "Rose here, she bought some Chinese-you want some?"

Huey glanced at his younger brother, and his mind came back to reality. Riley was standing outside the doorway wearing a white muscle shirt, it was able to hide the scars from his bullet wound. If Huey knew his brother as much as he did, Riley wouldn't mind showing off the wound later on in life to attract ladies.

Breathing in deeply, "Yeah why not-I haven't eaten anything yet."

Pushing himself out the bed, Huey passed by Riley. He could feel the gaze that his brother gave him; for the past seven years Riley was slowly learning to read people's faces. He had even trained himself to read expressions like Huey's, and he was able to see that something was disturbing his brother. But knowing that his brother had matured during those years, he gave him a look that told him not to discuss it.

"Hello Huey," Rose waved at him, "I already prepared your food-how are you feeling?"

Rose was a very different woman from the rest. Bright skinned with dark brown hair, her eyes close to the color black. She had met Granddad two years ago at a Bingo game, and they hit it off perfectly. She usually cooked their meals, but today she was being slightly lazy and went for take out.

"I'm doing good, not great but good," he replied with no emotion, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing good, not great but good," she giggled.

Huey nodded in response, and sat down with the others to eat his meal. Sesame seed chicken, some shrimp, fried rice mixed with vegetables and eggs, his favorite. Along with his family, he ate hungrily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw some action. A kid playing basketball with his friend, some girls playing jump rope, and a blue Mercedes. The Mercedes was really familiar, it was Tom's prize car. He hardly ever took it out, normally using Sarah's car for work. But there he was driving in it with his and...no way. Huey continued to eat in silence while his grandfather and step grandma talked about the mayor's actions and reactions to the sudden tragedy. Riley just ate like Riley, gobbling every single morsel in sight. When the car parked in the driveway, Huey began to eat slower. Ever since the shooting, tension had been high at the Dubois household, and all of sudden the tension was down-way down.

First came out Sarah, who was laughing and smiling, "Tom you can't make a joke if your life depended on it!"

"Oh come on honey," Tom exploded from the car, "can you give a guy a break, I was an up and coming comedian."

"Up and coming," Sarah laughed some more, "you weren't even at that level, right sweetie?"

There she was. Opening the door from the back seat, there she came. Her once long, puffy hair was cut dramatically barely touching her shoulders. Her body was wrapped in bandages, and he could see some visible scars. But there she was, in all her mulatto glory, a large smile plastered on her bruised face. Huey dropped his fork, he was looking closely out the window now. Emotion was flowing in and out of him, and he was unable to stop it. Riley and the others noticed, feeling alarmed by his sudden action.

"Huey," Riley asked, "wat's wrong wit you?"

Taking a gallon filled of air, in a raspy voice, "Its Jazmine, she's back."

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**I don't have much to say. I hope you enjoyed this one. Thank you once again for the reviews, and all the support.**


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